A New Approach to Self-Help - excerpts from the book "Make Room for Happiness"

How to Improve Your Quality of Life

The pursuit of happiness involves three things: identify what makes you unhappy, let it go, and learn the things that make you happy. This book and website will help you do all three.

The main idea here is that tension is an obstacle to each step in the pursuit of happiness. When you're tense you tend to do what's familiar and wrong instead of what's new and right. You will improve your life by letting go of the tension that’s getting in your way.

You can use the book and website in a few ways.

  • Learn simple and powerful relaxation techniques to reduce your tension.
  • Improve your self-esteem.
  • Enjoy better relationships.
  • Improve your health. Reverse and prevent heart disease.
  • Treat anxiety. Overcome depression.
  • Recover from addiction.
  • Improve your eating habits.

Read the medical evidence and decide for yourself. The information in the book is based on medical facts from peer-reviewed articles that show how relaxation techniques improve your quality of life. Almost every page in this website has a section that gives the supporting medical evidence.

What are my credentials? I'm a medical doctor who has had the privilege of working with people and helping them improve their life. Some of those people were just like you. That's why I know the techniques in this website will work, because I've seen them work.

What Tension Is and How It Causes Unhappiness

There are four basic causes of tension:

  • Not being in the moment
  • Resentments
  • Fears
  • Trying to control things that you can't control

When you're not in the moment, you're either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. You replay events from the past again and again, as if you want to understand what happened. But how many times do you have to go over the same thing? Most of the time you’re just spinning your wheels. The time you spend worrying about the future is usually just as unproductive. You worry about things that will probably never happen.

Resentments are about people, and your deepest resentments are usually about the people closest to you. It's been said that resentments are like drinking poison, hoping that the other person gets hurt. The more you dwell on your resentments, the more you poison yourself, and the more the other person wins.

Fear is the most difficult cause of tension to recognize. The most common fear is the fear of being judged or criticized. It affects everything you do, from what you say to what you wear.

What you try to control usually are the actions of other people. You know you can’t control people, but the more tense you are the more you try to control them. When you are tense, it feels as if things are happening to you instead of happening around you. Therefore you try to control them. It feels like people are going out of their way to irritate you when you're tense.

Tension is the greatest preventable cause of unhappiness.

  • Tension destroys relationships. Resentments and fears make it hard to love and be loved.
  • Tension destroys self-esteem. The fear of being judged gets in the way of your self-esteem and your creativity.
  • Tension destroys health. It suppresses your immune system, causes high blood pressure, and leads to heart attacks.
  • Tension is an obstacle to change. When you're tense, you tend to do what's familiar and wrong instead of what's new and right.

Letting go of tension is not the only thing you need to do in order to be happy. But it is one of the most overlooked parts of happiness. If there is anything else you need to do to be happier, you will see it more easily and deal with it more effectively when you're more relaxed.

The Book "Make Room for Happiness"

Each page in this website is an excerpt from the book "Make Room For Happiness." Click here to learn more about the book Make Room for Happiness, and to preview its table of contents.

The book is based on 20 years of experience, and contains techniques that have been proven to improve people’s lives. Many of my patients were initially skeptical about the importance of letting go of tension, but almost all of them eventually saw it as their most important coping skill.

Praise for the Book

"This book is so clearly and beautifully crafted that just reading it reduces tension. Dr. Melemis has taken a complex subject and distilled it into pure therapeutic magic. Put simply: this book will heal you." – Hugh Prather, author of Notes to Myself

"This book could prove very beneficial to many people. I especially like the distinction between stress and tension and the clear instructions on how to engage in the various practices of relaxation." – Thupten Jinpa, official translator to the Dalai Lama

Website Summary

Learn how to improve your life.

Improve specific areas of your life.

Read about the book and the author.

The following information is included in the book. You will learn about tension, chronic stress, a mindbody relaxation and meditation method, stress management, and the relaxation response. Official website of the book Make Room for Happiness.
Learn about how to Make Room for Happiness, the Pursuit of Happiness and the Art of Happiness. Read a self help book and practical guide to free self help and self improvement advice. Read how to change your life, and how to be happy. Read about Self Esteem, how to build and boost Self Esteem, and How to Improve Self Esteem.
Learn about Weight loss, How to Lose weight, a Free Weight loss program, and Healthy weight loss. Read Health information and Health tips about Heart disease, how to reverse heart disease, Life extension, Longevity, and Healthy aging.
Learn about Pain management, Natural Pain relief, Chronic Pain management, and Chronic pain treatment. Read about Depression, the Prevention and Treatment of Depression and Anxiety, Anxiety attacks, Panic attacks, Overcoming anxiety, and Treatment for Generalized anxiety disorder.
Read a book about how to Make Room for Happiness, the Pursuit of Happiness and the Art of Happiness. Read the review by Hugh Prather, author of Notes to Myself, and the review by the official translator of the Dalai Lama. You will learn about Mindbody Relaxation and Meditation, Cognitive behavior therapy, CBT, Anger management, Cognitive therapy for depression, Anger Management counseling, and Psychotherapy. Addiction Counselling and Cognitive behavioral therapy Counselling Toronto. Read how Mindbody Relaxation can change your life from the book, Make Room for Happiness by Dr. Steven M. Melemis.