Four Laws of Happiness. A New Approach to Self-Help and Change
Four Laws of Happiness
There are many things you need to know in order to be happy. There are more than four laws of happiness. But these four laws are the basis of self-change. They are the basis of how you will improve your life and find happiness.
- Knowledge alone does not lead to happiness.
- Tension is the greatest preventable cause of unhappiness.
- Tension is the main obstacle to change. When you're tense you tend to do what's familiar and wrong instead of what's new and right.
- Reducing tension increases your happiness and improves your ability to change.
The first law is the inescapable conclusion that knowledge alone does not help people change or find happiness. Knowledge doesn't prevent people from repeating the same mistakes. The standard approach to self-help is to tell people what they're doing wrong and show them what they should do instead. The standard approach is to give people more knowledge believing that will help them change. But that's usually the easy part. The hard part is helping people incorporate that knowledge into their lives. Most people already know what they're doing wrong. Their problem is they keep on repeating the same mistakes.
The second law is that tension is the greatest preventable cause of unhappiness. Happiness is an inside job. Before you look at external things to change in your life, have a look at yourself. When you're tense, your relationships suffer. When you're tense, your self-image suffers. When you're tense your mood worsens. Tension affects almost every aspect of life.
The third law is that tension is the main obstacle to change. Tension not only makes you unhappy, it keeps you stuck in your unhappiness by making it hard to change. When you're tense, you tend to do what's familiar and wrong instead of what's new and right. When you're tense, you find it hard to let go of your ego and fears to make room for change. Change isn't just about what you learn, it's also about what you let go.
The final law is that reducing tension improves your life and your ability to change your life. Letting go of tension is the missing piece to changing your life. Think of it this way. There are many coping skills that you need to be happy in life. If you learn them all but don’t learn how to relax, you still won’t be happy, because when you’re tense you’ll continue to repeat what’s familiar and wrong. On the other hand, if you don’t learn any new coping skills, but learn only one new skill – how to relax – you’ll still be happier, because everything is easier when you’re relaxed. If there is anything else you need to change in order to be happier, you'll see it more easily and deal with it more effectively when you're relaxed.
The book "Make Room for Happiness" is about how to apply those four laws in your daily life. It is about how you can use mindbody relaxation to reduce your tension and improve your quality of life.
The Art of Happiness and the Process of Change
The pursuit of happiness involves three steps:
- Identify how you make yourself unhappy.
- Let go of your negative behaviors.
- Learn positive behaviors in their place.
Happiness is an inside job. There's no doubt external factors are an important part of happiness. But some external factors you cannot change, and the external factors that are easy to change are the ones that don't contribute much to your long-term happiness.
If you don’t change who you are, any external changes you make will be nice for a while, but then you'll quickly go back to feeling the way you did before.
Mindbody relaxation is a map of how to improve your life. It helps you see the underlying tension that contributes to your unhappiness. It helps you let it go, and replace it with a healthier approach to life. You practice letting go of your resentments during a relaxation session so that you can let them go during the rest of your life. You practice being in the moment so that you can be in the moment later. Those are some of the skills that bring real happiness.
The Purpose of Life
"I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness…One begins by identifying those factors which lead to happiness and those which lead to suffering. Having done this, one then sets about gradually eliminating those factors which lead to suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness."(1) – The Dalai Lama
Relaxation serves the purpose of life. It helps you identify the factors that make you unhappy, let them go, and learn something better in their place. It’s that one simple idea that can transform your life.
Learn More
In Chapter 3, "How to Improve Your Life by Letting Go of Tension" you'll learn:
- The underlying causes of tension in greater detail
- How letting go of tension will help with each step in the pursuit of happiness
- How and why relaxation works
- The medicine and psychology behind relaxation
You'll also learn:
- A simple but effective relaxation technique to let go of tension and change your life
- The key to relaxing your body and mind
- Simple breathing techniques that will help you let go of tension quickly
- How to stay focused and deal with distractions
- How relaxation feels
- Answers to frequently asked questions about relaxation and meditation
- Hints to help you overcome common obstacles
- A one-month relaxation program that will help you integrate relaxation into your life
- How to reduce anxiety and improve your sleep.