Information for The Press
Book Details
Four Laws of Tension and Happiness
Endorsements
Book Cover Images
Publisher Information
Table of Contents
Did You Know
Quotes From the Book
Title
Make Room for Happiness: 12 Ways to Improve Your Life By Letting Go of Tension. Better Health, Self-Esteem and Relationships
ISBN
9781897572177, Binding: softcover, 216 pages.
The Author
Dr. Steven M. Melemis was born in Toronto. He has a Ph.D. and M.D. from the University of Toronto, and a Postdoctoral Fellowship from the University of California at Berkeley. He has received the honor of Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine.
Dr. Melemis has lectured widely and has been interviewed for television, radio, and print. He has worked for over 20 years in addiction medicine and mood disorders. He is a Medical Inspector for the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario, and a Clinical Advisor to the Physician Health Program of the Ontario Medical Association. He is also Past Vice-Chair of Addiction Medicine for the Ontario Medical Association.
Author's photo, Low-Res (73 KB)
Author's photo, High-Res (751 KB)
Book Description
The main idea of the book is that letting go of tension is the missing piece to improving your life. Tension not only makes you unhappy, it keeps you stuck in your unhappiness. When you’re tense you tend to do what’s familiar and wrong instead of what’s new and right.
This book takes a new approach to self-help. You will improve your life by letting go of the tension that’s getting in your way.
There are three parts to the book. One – see how tension causes unhappiness and how it is an obstacle to change. Two – learn a simple and powerful mindbody relaxation technique to reduce your tension. Three – learn how to apply that technique to improve specific areas of your life quickly.
Read a clear step-by-step explanation of how to relax. Learn how and why relaxation works. The mindbody relaxation technique in this book combines traditional meditation with psychology and medicine to produce a modern approach to relaxation. Read tips that will help you overcome common relaxation problems. There is a one-month relaxation program to get you started. The book is based on 20 years of experience, and contains techniques that have been proven to improve people’s lives.
You'll find this book interesting if you want to improve your relationships, let go of resentments, reduce fears and anxieties, improve your self-esteem, or recover from depression. Tension affects almost every aspect of life. Letting go of tension is that one simple idea that can transform your life.
Four Laws of Tension and Happiness
The book "Make Room for Happiness" is based on four laws that deal with the relationship between tension, self-change, and the pursuit of happiness.
- Knowledge alone does not lead to happiness.
- Tension is the greatest preventable cause of unhappiness.
- Tension is the main obstacle to change. When you're tense you tend to do what's familiar and wrong instead of what's new and right.
- Letting go of tension will increase your happiness and improve your ability to change.
The first law is the inescapable conclusion that knowledge alone does not help people change or find happiness. Knowledge doesn't prevent people from repeating the same mistakes. The standard approach to self-help is to tell people what they're doing wrong and show them what they should do instead. Give people more knowledge believing that will help them change. But that's usually the easy part. The hard part is helping people incorporate that knowledge into their lives. Most people already know what they're doing wrong. Their problem is they keep on repeating the same mistakes.
The second law is that tension is the greatest preventable cause of unhappiness. Happiness is an inside job. When you're tense, your relationships suffer. When you're tense, your self-image suffers. When you're tense your mood worsens. Tension affects almost every aspect of life.
The third law is that tension is the main obstacle to change. Tension not only makes people unhappy, it keeps them stuck in their unhappiness by making it hard to change. When people are tense, they tend to do what's familiar and wrong instead of what's new and right. When they're tense, they find it hard to let go of their egos and fears to make room for change. Change isn't just about what you learn, it's also about what you let go.
The final law is that reducing tension will improve your life and help you change your life. Letting go of tension is the missing piece to changing your life. Think of it this way. There are many coping skills that you need to be happy in life. If you learn them all but don’t learn how to relax, you still won’t be happy, because when you’re tense you’ll continue to repeat what’s familiar and wrong. On the other hand, if you don’t learn any new coping skills, but learn only one new skill – how to relax – you’ll still be happier, because everything is easier when you’re relaxed. If there is anything else you need to change in order to be happier, you'll see it more easily and deal with it more effectively when you're relaxed.
The book "Make Room for Happiness" is about how to apply those four laws to your daily life.
Endorsements
Hugh Prather, author of Notes to Myself writes, "This book is so clearly and beautifully crafted that just reading it reduces tension. Dr. Melemis has taken a complex subject and distilled it into pure therapeutic magic. Put simply: this book will heal you."
The official translator to the Dalai Lama, Thupten Jinpa, writes: "This book could prove very beneficial to many people. I especially like the distinction between stress and tension and the clear instructions on how to engage in the various practices of relaxation."
Read the First Chapter
First chapter of Make Room for Happiness.
Retail Price
US $17.95
CDN $22.95
Availability
The book is available at
Amazon.com
BarnesAndNoble.com
Amazon.ca
Indigo.ca
Book Cover
Front cover, Low-Res (120 KB)
Front cover, High-Res (798 KB)
Back cover, Low-Res (118 KB)
Publisher Information
To request a review copy or to contact the author, please write to
Modern Therapies208 Bloor St. West, Suite 702
Toronto, ON
M5S 3B4
Phone: 416-920-2982
contact@moderntherapies.com
www.moderntherapies.com
Table of Contents
1. Introduction
Part 1. The Problem and the Solution
2. What Tension Is and How it Causes Unhappiness
3. How to Improve Your Life By Letting Go of Tension
Part 2. How to Reduce Your Tension
4. Use Your Body to Relax Your Mind
5. Breathe from Your Abdomen
6. Relax Your Face
7. How to Stay Focused
8. Become Aware of Your Tension
9. How Mindbody Relaxation Works
10. How It Feels
11. Helpful Guideposts
12. A One-Month Relaxation Program
Summary
Part 3. 12 Ways to Improve Your Life
13. Begin By Improving Your Self-Esteem
14. Improve Your Health
15. Lose Weight
16. Enjoy Better Relationships
17. Eliminate Anxiety and Seize the Day
18. Develop Understanding, Compassion, and Tolerance
19. Overcome Depression and Addiction
20. How Relaxation Complements Psychotherapy
21. Relieve Physical Pain
22. Improve Your Creativity
23. Raise the Level of Your Game
24. Reduce Tension at Work
Conclusion
Resources
About the Author
References
Did You Know
Tension causes premature aging of DNA. A study at the University of California at San Francisco showed that mothers who are under high stress have more damage to their DNA than mothers under low stress.
Tension and stress cost American businesses $300 billion a year. That includes increased health costs, accidents, absenteeism, employee turnover, and reduced productivity. Reducing tension makes good business sense.
Mindbody relaxation reduces the risk heart disease by 30 %, and reduces deaths due to heart disease by 23%. Heart disease is the number one cause of death in the developed world. Mindbody relaxation techniques significantly reduce the risk of high blood pressure, heart attacks, and the risk of fatal heart attacks according to a study in the British Medical Journal. The results were confirmed in a study in the American Journal of Cardiology, which also showed that relaxation increases life expectancy.
Mindbody relaxation reverses hardening of the arteries. Not only does mindbody relaxation reduce the risk of heart disease, it actually reverses hardening of the arteries according to a study published in the American Heart Association journal, Stroke.
Mindbody relaxation reduces the risk of a depression recurrence by 50 percent. Approximately 10-30% of people will suffer at least one episode of depression in their life. Once a person has had an episode of depression, they have a 50 percent chance of having another episode. Relaxation techniques in conjunction with medication reduce the risk of recurrence of depression significantly more than medication alone.
Mindbody relaxation is effective in treating and preventing substance abuse. Approximately 10% of people suffer from drug and alcohol addiction, which makes addiction more common than diabetes. Numerous studies have shown that relaxation provides long-term improvements in self-esteem and psychological health, and significantly reduces the risk of substance abuse.
Mindbody relaxation helps treat anxiety and panic attacks. A study at the University of Massachusetts showed that patients who suffered from generalized anxiety or panic disorder felt significantly better after learning relaxation techniques, and continued to use those techniques over the long-term.
Relaxation can strengthen your immune system. One study showed that after just eight weeks of learning how to relax, participants had a stronger immune system.
Relaxation relieves chronic pain, and relieves chronic low-back pain. After a ten-week mindbody relaxation course many patients need less pain medication. After fifteen months, not only do they suffer less pain, but because they suffered less pain they also suffered less from depression and anxiety.
Relaxation reduces the symptoms of fibromyalgia. In one study 51 percent of the patients experienced moderate to marked improvement in their fibromyalgia symptoms. That is virtually unheard of in most treatments of fibromyalgia.
Quotes From The Book
When you're tense you tend to do what's familiar and wrong, instead of what's new and right.
Tension is subtle and sometimes you don’t know you’re tense, you just know that everyone around you is annoying.
We hold on to resentments as if they’re precious possessions, instead of letting them go like the poison that they are.
When you’re not in the moment, it feels like you’re surviving life instead of living it.
The key to relaxation is – don’t try to relax your mind. Relax your body, and your mind will follow.
When you breathe as if you are relaxed, you become relaxed.
When you're tense, it feels as if things are happening to you instead of happening around you.
Aging is not just the passage of time, but the accumulation of tension.
The goal of mindbody relaxation is not to empty your mind. An empty mind isn’t good for anything. The goal is to let go of your tension and enjoy your life.
In mindbody relaxation there is almost nothing new to learn, only something to let go.
A clear mind is not empty – it is open. A quiet mind is not passive – it is efficient.
Seize the day by living in the day, instead of reliving yesterday.
In the moment is the only place you can feel happy and content.
The underlying emotion of poor self-esteem is fear.
You don't improve your self-esteem by working harder or trying to be more perfect. That never fills the void of poor self-esteem. You improve your self-esteem by letting go of the fears that undermine your self-esteem.
If you’re not sure about the importance of relaxation to your relationships, ask yourself this: will more resentments, more fears, and more tension improve your relationships?
Tension makes it hard to love and be loved.